shayno thoughts

Life is hard as a fat man. He knew this all too well. Movement was not easy because joints hurt after years of supporting such a large frame. Breathing is labored. Finding clothing is like a quest for the Holy Grail, and once a fat person finds something that resembles a stylish garment, it is treasured. For most of his life, he hated his body. It was round and clumsy. He did not look in the mirror often, and he tried his hardest to never look at himself naked. He was repulsed by the sight of it. He felt awkward most of the time. The man was always the largest person in a crowd, and he heard the laughs and whispers. What people didn’t know was that they weren’t even close to saying anything as harmful as he said to himself.  There were times when the man wanted to simply disappear. It was impossible for him to not be noticed, so as a defense he acted like the world’s biggest extrovert. He thought if he made people laugh, they would accept him as kind of normal. It worked most of the ti

I do not remember a time in my life when I was not a churchgoer. My parents became Christians before my first birthday, and I was grafted in by confession of faith at the age of 9. My conversion was typical. I was afraid of going to hell. So afraid in fact that for about a week before my conversion I couldn't sleep, be alone, or think of much else.  Christmas 1979...that's when it happened. The church we attended had a Christmas dinner and showed a movie. White Christmas, It's a Wonderful Life? Nope, they showed A Distant Thunder the second in a series of rapture/second coming of Jesus films.  This film (horrible production, acting, filmography, and directing) was all about people who did not make the rapture. These people either had to take the mark of the beast or be killed.  I took away that if you didn't accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior you were going to hell, and hell isn't a place you want to go. For a solid week, I could not sleep, I could not be by mysel

 It's been three weeks since I've been back in the office. So far, it's been a mixed bag. On one hand, it has been wonderful to see my colleagues and catch up. On the other hand, I am still not used to wearing pants. There have been a lot of changes that have happened over the past 15 months. During the pandemic, Dallas County Community College District became Dallas College. Many people had to reapply for their jobs. Some were let go, and others are at completely different campuses doing a completely different job than they did in March of 2020. This is one time where having a grant-funded job has been a tremendous benefit.  When I came back to my office, it looked as if I had left it for a long weekend. Everything was right where I left it. The first thing I did was clean out everything (paper) that I had not used at home, If I didn't need it while working and teaching from the house, I didn't need it. There was so much stuff. I'm a paper hoarder, so every fil